Productivity Tips

Thursday is productivity day and today’s tip is one you are going to find extraspecialy useful. When you get very busy and overloaded with work you need to make it difficult for others to pile more work onto you. I find that requiring my coworkers to do such things as speak to me only using the Klingon language is very useful. I assume that if my coworker has taken the time to learn to speak klingon in order to better communicate with me he or she must have a pretty important task for me.
Other things I often do to alleviate my workload are lowering my level of personal hygiene. I often times find it helpful to smile big and laugh out loud for a period of 3 minutes or longer with no apparent reason for the happiness. If someone asks why I am laughing or smiling too much I generally respond with a comment such as “Oh you’ll see!!” while rubbing my hands together. Always follow the laughing with a period of looking off into nothingness and lightly chuckling.
OK, to recap, when you find you already have too much work and you do not want to have additional work added to your plate you must take the following steps.
Speak only Klingon at work and require all new projects to be submitted to you in the written Klingon language.
Lower your level of personal hygiene, ie quit showering and using deodorant. Remember to increase your level of physical activity during this period, because extra sweat should equate to extra stink and less work!
Smile and laugh allot
If none of the above is working, set your garbage can on fire and roast marshmallows over the flames.

Gas Costs More Than Milk

After completing some very complicated calculations I have reached the conclusion that gas now costs more than milk. At least in the United States. I guess I will consider milk my fuel while I peddle my bicycle.

The New Smiley Phone

This week a new 3G iPhone is being released and as a modern Sasquatch I like to look at and try out new technology. The new i-Phone looks neat, but it is a little small for my large hands and I don’t like to type on it. The phone is cool for the modern and stylish Apple groupies. The modern Sasquatch needs more than just an i-phone, so I give to you the Smiley Phone.
The Smiley Phone features a 15 inch touch screen and a full size keyboard glued to the bottom of it. Battery life is great because the phone utilizes a full size truck battery. It weighs only 87 pounds but with the included backpack it feels like nothing.

What a Little Birdie Told Me

I was walking along minding my own business when all of a sudden this funny looking bird landed in front of me and started talking about the weather. I realized the bird was trying to start up a conversation with me. I was a little shocked to see a talking bird and I said to him “Um, you’re a bird. When did you learn to talk?”
He responded, ”What? All birds talk. Haven’t you ever seen a parrot? Anyway you’re a giant walking pile of fur and nobody really believes you exist. What business do you have being surprised to see a talking bird?”
Now, I am not much for small talk so I just came out and said, “Well you’ve never talked to me before and generally when somebody I have never spoken with comes up and starts talking to me they are trying to sell me something I don’t need or want. So what are you selling?”
“Oh, my friend that’s where you got me all wrong. I am not selling anything. I am granting a limited number of people the opportunity of a lifetime….” And that’s when I granted him the opportunity to fly further than any bird has ever flown before.

Make Money Blogging

Do you want to make money blogging? If you do - you’re not alone. More and more bloggers are finding that blogging is a profitable medium. Whether it be to earn a few extra dollars a week to feed their coffee habit, or making enough money to stop them having to get a part time job to get through college, or whether they’ve got it to a point where they are able to make a full time living from their blogging - there are tens of thousands of bloggers making money from blogging. In this page I want to share some information for beginners on making money from their blogs. I will start by sharing my own top Money Making Methods (updated regularly) but below that point you to some great resources and teaching on how to increase your income from blogging

What follows is a quick summary of my main income streams from blogging. Before you read it though - keep in mind that every blog is unique in how it can make money. Some of the following income streams will work on some blogs a lot better than others - the key is to experiment with as many as possible and see what works best for you.
The following income streams (from a number of blogs) have helped me to earn a six figure income each year for the last three years from blogging. I’ve ranked them from highest to lowest.
I hope you find it useful to see the mix and variety of ways that I earn a living from blogging.

1. AdSense
Despite not using it here at ProBlogger any more (here’s why) I continue to use AdSense with amazing effect on my other blogs. I have them all set to show image and text based ads and find that 250×300 pixel ads work best (usually with a blended design). I don’t have much luck with their ‘referrals’ program but their normal ads work a treat and continue to be the biggest earner for me.

2. Chitika
Chitka continues to be a great performer for me on my blogs. They work best on product related blogs although their recent announcement of their Premium ad unit is exciting as they now offer ads with a non product focus that I’m hearing great conversions on (I have one reader who is getting $28 CPM on this ad unit).Chitika offers a range of ad units that I experiment with. I find their eMiniMalls work best and that Related Product Units are also good. Their Shoplincs product isn’t performing as well as it once did for me - mainly because I’ve been promoting it less and have driven less traffic to it. Over the time I’ve been using Chitika they’ve now earned me over a quarter of a million dollars - I can’t recommend them enough!

3. Private Ad Sales/Sponsorships

Private ad sales directly to advertisers have continued to grow over the last few months and as a result they’re now my third highest income stream. I expect them to overtake both Chitika and AdSense in the coming months. This includes ad sales of the 125 x 125 ads here at ProBlogger as well as a campaign or two at Digital Photography School.

4. Amazon Associates

Amazon’s affiliate program has been one of my big movers in the last 12 months. I used to make a few odd dollars from it - however in recent times it has become a significant earner for me (as I’ve shared previously). This quarter it grew even more than previously as a result of continued growth of DPS where I recommend books, software and cameras.

5. Shopzilla As I wrote recently - Shopzilla has really impressed me with how it’s performed over the last few weeks. It’s actually doing well enough to debut in this list at #6. The ads are similar to Chitika but the click values have been higher for me to this point. They don’t offer quite as many options as Chitika does in terms of types of ads but for a new ad network there’s definitely promising signs. I’m looking forward to seeing how they continue to develop!

6.ProBlogger Job Boards he job boards here at ProBlogger continue to grow each month in the number of advertisements that are being bought. This enabled me to invest most of the money that they’d earned a while back into getting a new back end for the boards and to redesign them. It hit me today that the boards are now bringing in around $1000 a month in revenue which is pretty nice considering that they are so low maintenance to run. They also offer a service to readers and add value to the overall blog.
The only problem that I face with the job boards is that there are so many bloggers looking for work that the demand for jobs far exceeds the supply. On the good side of things is that advertisers are reporting getting amazing quality of applications.

7.WidgetBucks Another newcomer to this list is WidgetBucks - another ad network that ProBlogger readers will be familiar with.
WidgetBucks is similar to Chitika and Shopzilla in many respects and works well on product related sites. It does best on sites with US traffic (the reason I’ve not used it as much as I get a lot of international traffic) so if you have a product related site with a US audience it’d be a no brainer to try out WidgetBucks. I’m hoping they’ll continue to expand their offerings in terms of ad types and visitor location.

8. Miscellaneous Advertising Programs

I also play with a number of other ad networks. Some I run as tests to see if I should review them here - and some are just advertising that run in the background on some of my smaller blogs. These include ShoppingAds, Feedburner RSS ads, Vizu (a poll advertising system), Kontera and Bidvertiser. Together these don’t add up to major earnings for me - not because they are not good, but because I don’t use them heavily (a blog can only run so many ads on it).
I think that that covers most of it although it’s worth mentioning that last time I did this list I also included TextLinkAds which used to be every bloggers favorite way to make money blogging by selling text links. I’ve stopped using them due to Google cracking down on them (read more about this here) but it’s worth noting that many bloggers still use them successfully - I advise to proceed with caution. Disclaimer - TLA are an advertiser on ProBlogger
Useful Resources for Bloggers Wanting to Make Money Blogging
A lot has been written on the topic of making money online from blogs. There is a lot of wonderful information out there - but also a lot of hype and sometimes dangerous information.
Below are a number of articles that I’ve written exploring some of the different ways that bloggers make money.
Subscribe to My RSS Feed - everything that I know about making money from blogging is here on ProBlogger in my archives. I don’t hold back information and write about what I’m learning as I learn it. To get future updates subscribe to my RSS feed or add your email address below to get daily updates via email.

What an idiot !!!!!!

Everything Costs More Except for You!

It seems very ironic that when the price of everything I buy is increasing the EPA has decreased the statisical value of my life. What’s a fiddle of gold worth now a days?

Philosophical Question

If a chicken goes into the woods and finds a stick with a piece of cheese on the end do I still have to do the chicken dance at weddings?

Everybody knows that when you have a brilliant idea a light bulb goes off above your head. I have a problem. You see, my ideas are so brilliant that the light bulb blinds me! Take last Thursday for example. I had a brilliant idea to change my brilliant bulb from an incandescent to a compact florescent light bulb in order to conserve energy. When I had this idea my brilliant bulb lit up and blinded me. I decided I need to change it, vision impared or not. I reached in the general vicinity I believed the bulb to be and accidentally grabbed hold of the ceiling fan. The ceiling fan grabbed hold of me and threw me through the living room wall. I did end up completing the upgrade of my brilliant bulb and after 175 years of use it should save me enough money to pay for the Sheetrock repairs.

A Fish Can Swim

When it comes to swimming I am more or less a floating mound of hair. My friend Jimmy the Jumping Walleye, on the other hand, is the best swimmer I have ever seen. Jimmy was over to my place the other night to play cards and we started talking about the Olympics and how Jimmy should be swimming in the games. Unfortunately, there seems to be a human only rule. This led us to the conclusion that Jimmy needs to go into disguise. If you notice anyone who looks a little fishy winning the swimming gold medals this August then you know our disguise for Jimmy worked (well enough to get him in anyway).

Anything Cool Happening?

Have you ever known someone who had their own catch phrase, like a sitcom character? I know, it sounds like fun, but it's not. It's really not.I have a coworker who says, every time I see him, "Anything cool happening?"This probably wouldn't bother most people. Most people probably wouldn't even notice. But here's something you need to know about me: I have this weird, admittedly irrational fear of stock phrases. I'm guessing that writers who read this will know what I mean. It jars me, for example, when I hear a phrase like "With all due respect, sir..." or "You just don't get it, do you?!" in an otherwise respectable movie or TV show. Does anyone ever say either of those things in real life? Somebody needs to write up a handbook of Phrases Script Writers Should Avoid Copying from Other TV Shows.It's a sort of paranoia, I suppose, the feeling like you're being boxed in by Hot enough for ya?s, What's the word?s and TGIFs. It bugs the hell out of me when people pepper their speech with empty phrases.So it's not entirely this guy's fault that his greeting grates on me, but it seems like I spend all day trying to avoid "low hanging fruit" and "boiling the ocean", so when someone threatens to introduce a new stock phrase into the lexicon, the hairs prick up on the back of my neck.*"Anything cool happening?"I grit my teeth every time I hear it. I feel like a test subject for a new catch phrase the universe's producers are trying out. If I react incorrectly, it might get written into every scene I have with this character, like people yelling "Norm!" at the beginning of Cheers. I can't let it freak me out, but neither can I respond with some snappy comeback. And the worst possible thing to do would be to settle into a routine response, like "Not around these parts." Blech. All I need is for that insipid exchange to catch on across the country.What I end up doing, not so much by design as by default, is hemming and hawing and generally putting far too much thought into answering a stupid, pointless question. Which may actually be the best thing to do, because nothing forestalls insipid questions like drawn out, uncomfortable, and overly self-conscious responses. "Uh..." I say. "I, uh, dunno. I guess, not really. Too much. Happening. So, um, what about you. How are you doing?"It wouldn't be so bad if that was the end of the exchange, but then he starts in with other predictable questions. He loves getting burritos from a place near our office, so the next thing he asks (because I usually saunter in around 11:15 a.m.) is "Ready for a burrito?"On the plus side, "Ready for a burrito?" probably isn't going to be the next catch phrase sweeping the nation. On the negative side, this is what lawyers call a "complex question," like "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" If I answer with a simple "no," the predictable follow-up will be "So... when will you be ready?" As a result, the conversation goes like this:
Burrito Boy: Ready for a burrito?Diesel: Not sure I want a burrito today.Burrito Boy: Oh man, those burritos are awesome.Diesel: Yep. They're pretty good.Burrito Boy: Pretty good? They're awesome.Diesel: ...Burrito Boy: You don't like those burritos?Diesel: I like them. Just not every day.Burrito Boy: What would you rather have than a burrito? A sandwich?Diesel: Maybe.Burrito Boy: What kind of sandwich, peanut butter and jelly?Diesel: No. Maybe ham.Burrito Boy: Oh man, you'd take ham over a burrito? Those burritos are awesome.No joke, I've had some version of this conversation at least eight times. And with my irrational fear of accidentally falling into a scripted conversation, I feel obligated to change my lines up a bit each time, so that once again I end up putting far too much thought into an unavoidably insipid conversation, while he spews prefabricated speech, Teddy Ruxpin-like, in my direction.And it's not just lunch, either. We've had essentially that same conversation about breeding dogs, getting root beer floats, camping out for the new iPhone, and I don't know how many other subjects. If he weren't so sincere and innocent looking, I'd swear he was f---ing with me. For example, there was this one:
Burrito Boy: How much land do you have?Diesel: Ten acres.Burrito Boy: Wow, you could breed dogs.Diesel: Why would I want to breed dogs?Burrito Boy: You can make a lot of money breeding dogs.Diesel: I don't like dogs. I'm not really an animal person.Burrito Boy: Yeah, but think of all the money you could make.Diesel: Not enough to justify having to deal with a bunch of annoying dogs.Burrito Boy: You don't like dogs?Diesel: I don't hate them, but I wouldn't want a bunch of them around.Burrito Boy: But think of how much money you could make.And this one:
Burrito Boy: You gonna camp out to get one of the new iPhones?Diesel: No.Burrito Boy: You don't want an iPhone?Diesel: No.Burrito Boy: Why don't you want an iPhone? Those things are sweet.Diesel: ...Burrito Boy: I think you should camp out to get one.I was actually rather proud of my showing in the root beer float conversation. I managed to sidetrack the discussion pretty well before it resumed its inevitable course.
Burrito Boy: Wanna get a root beer float?Diesel: Where are you going to get a root beer float?Burrito Boy: There's root beer and ice cream.Diesel: Is it ice cream or frozen yogurt?Burrito Boy: I'm not sure. It's what they usually have. Is that ice cream or yogurt?Diesel: Dunno.Burrito Boy: Ok, well, if it was ice cream, would you have one?Diesel: No, I don't like root beer floats.Burrito Boy: You don't like root beer floats? Oh man, root beer floats are awesome.And in case you're wondering why I'm not concerned that Burrito Boy might read this, I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know the name of my blog. It's not like I keep it a secret, but it doesn't come up much in conversations that revolve around food, breeding dogs, iPhones, or whatever else he's trying to sell me on.Being a fellow programmer, he runs some kind of social networking site (similar, but inferior to, Humor-Blogs.com), which also sometimes serves as the Mad Lib fodder in our discussions. For example:
Burrito Boy: Have you been to _____.com lately?Diesel: No.Burrito Boy: Oh man, you should check it out. There's some great stuff on there.Diesel: I'll bet.Burrito Boy: You have a blog, don't you?Diesel: Yep.Burrito Boy: You should get it on there, get some traffic.Diesel: Uh huh.This, by the way, is one of the many reasons programmers aren't good salesmen. You'd think if he really wanted me to check out his site, he would maybe ask me for the address of my site, feign interest in it for twenty seconds, and then say, "Yeah, you totally need to get this up on _____.com." But his monomania doesn't allow him to take a more expansive view of the situation. He just keeps rephrasing his point of view in the hopes that it will become mine.The effect of this kind of behavior is counterproductive even when the subject is a normal person, much less a surly and deliberately contrarian egomaniac like myself. No one likes being told what to do, and they like it less and less with needless repetition.On the other hand, it occurs to me that people tend to repeat behavior only when it gives them the desired results, so maybe he's getting exactly what he wants. Maybe this badgering and resistance is his version of enjoyable social interaction -- which would mean that all I'm doing is encouraging him. In that case, I should probably respond in an affirmative, but entirely unexpected way. Something like this:
Burrito Boy: Anything cool happening?Diesel: Yeah, I camped out all weekend to get one of the new iPhones. I read something about it on _____.com, and decided I just had to have one.Burrito Boy: Wow, really?Diesel: Yeah, let me show some pictures I took with it.Burrito Boy: What's that?Diesel: Oh, that's my new dog kennel. Did I tell you, I've decided to start breeding dogs!Burrito Boy: Really? What kind of dogs?Diesel: The same kind they make those burritos out of!